Tonight's Solutions Pot Questions, In No Particular Order

In a relationship, how can we talk about difficult things without coming across as defensive or attacking our partners?

Try and wait until you are both calm Plan a safe word, or sign helps remind you both that you are a team. Writing things down can help. This can let you take your time to form your thoughts and give you distance (time & space) from the inciting incident.

I'm single. Should I be looking for a neurodivergent partner?

Seeking someone out who's ND specifically might not be the right strategy, but finding someone who complements you will likely be neurodivergent, so it works out. Find someone who understands you and has empathy for your needs. ND folks are more likely to accept that something's are inexplicable and concrete and need to be treated as constraints, not challenges to fix

Is it appropriate to bring up ND with people who are, but won't accept it?

Maybe. But depending on their socialization, you risk invoking the backfire effect, hard. If it's your parents, you have to realize that if their behavior is a problem in your life, you have to set boundaries. You're the kid in that dynamic, and in the end, they're not your responsibility. The direction of the arrow of power & responsibility points in the wrong direction for you.

Varifocals. Are they terrible for everyone or just me?

Gotta give them time. And maybe find some place *not* Specsavers for a better fit.

Is 67 too old for medication?

Maybe. Probably not. If your blood pressure is under control, for sure ask your care provider. If your BP isn't under control, ask anyway.

Dealing with anxiety: Fight, flight, freeze, fawn.

Mindfulness practice that works for you when you're calm. Scripting, role play, distance. These things also work, but they're also part of the "practice when you're calm" Strong recommendation for the book, _Calm Your ADHD Brain_ by Emma Llewellyn

Advice about working on hard things. Keep going, our brains need the novelty. Hard things are very likely to be more interesting to us that "easy" things. So the easy things become hard? Paradox...

Lightning round, favorite ND positive media, go:

I Swear – Film

Adults – TV Show

Bluey – TV Show

Now It All Makes Sense – Alex Partridge Book

Frasier – TV Show

Midnight Gospel – Animated TV Show

Bottoms – TV Show

The A Word – TV Show

Inside Our Minds – Chris Packham BBC Series

Tonight's recipe, Snickerdoodles:

110g Butter

200g Sugar

180g Plain Flour

1/4 teaspoon Bicarbonate of Soda

1/4 teaspoon Cream of Tartar

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Pinch Salt

2 Tablespoons Sugar

1 teaspoon cinnamon

Butter softened at room temperature, whip vigorously. Add sugar, soda, cream of tartar, salt. Cream thoroughly. Add egg & vanilla, cream until lightened in color and fluffy. Add flour, mix in with a spoon. Move dough to refrigerator and chill for 1 hour.

Put extra cinnamon and sugar into a small bowl, combine, and set aside.

When chilled, preheat oven to 190°C for conventional, 180°C Fan.

Use a disher to measure out equal balls of dough. If you need to, cut them so you get a roughly 1-inch section of dough. Roll them into balls. Roll the dough balls in the cinnamon sugar mixture. Put 12 directly onto a metal baking sheet, about 2 inches apart – they spread.

Bake for 9-10 minutes until edges start to brown and the middles are crackly and set. Remove from oven, let cool on tray for 2-3 minutes before moving them to a wire rack to cool completely.

Makes ~36 cookies when 1" balls.